Helping people develop a healthy relationship with food is my primary goal.

Nutrition & Body Talk

Reflections of You
By Jennifer Pereira, RD, LD, CSCS

What you see is not necessarily what you get. Oftentimes we look at ourselves in the bathroom mirror, in those contorted poses, and we see someone who is not perfect. This translates to 'fat' within our minds. Now at what point is one technically considered fat? It is arbitrary, indeed.

Is it the Body Mass Index?
Because using this measurement, we find that world class bodybuilders qualify as obese. This seems odd when they are at a 4% body fat. Ideal body weights, BMI scales, and any other measurement you can think of... are all flawed. It doesn't matter, however, because we don't need outside measurements to tell us what we can clearly see in the mirror: I am so fat.

But then I listen to women around me. One woman who thinks she is about 20 pounds overweight 'feels fat'. Then, my universe becomes distorted when another friend who is probably 5-10 pounds underweight, says she, too, 'feels fat'. Hmm. Someone's been looking in the circus mirror again—or drinking the funny punch. And when I ask the woman who says she is 20 pounds overweight about herself when she was 20 pounds thinner—she remembers even then thinking about her thighs rubbing together. In fact, I have had a 60 pound client with anorexia, who got that way because at 80 pounds she still 'felt fat'.

So now I am thinking, there is no point at which one will no longer 'feel fat' if that belief is deeply held. Until we can accept and love our beautiful, imperfect bodies, we will continue to distract ourselves with these hurtful thoughts. We believe these thoughts are our only defense against eating ourselves even fatter. I would argue, though, that it is this type of thinking that actually leads us to comfort ourselves more frequently with food.

What I have found is that when a person becomes overly conscious of their physical appearance, there is typically something else going on inside of them. If these thoughts begin to affect your life—refusal to go to social events, missing time with family to work out—you have to take a closer look.

Our obsession with weight helps us to distract ourselves from uncomfortable thoughts. These thoughts are usually about other things in our lives over which we have no control. So, the next time your friend says that she 'feels fat'—whether the charts agree with her or not—ask her what she is really feeling.

She might look at you weird, but we need to honor one another by exploring our true feelings. And when the person you are closest to in the whole world (yourself) says that she 'feels fat', just know that she is just a little bit scared of what she is really feeling and needs to be pampered, and ultimately, unconditionally loved.

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Listen to your Body, it is Wiser than you Think.
Respect your own unique traits, and develope a healthy relationship with food.